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You Don't Really Know Me: Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and How Both Can Win
Understand what your teenage daughter really means—and learn to use your arguments to strengthen your bond with her. Mothers and teenage daughters argue more than any other child-parent pair—on average every two-and-a-half days. These quarrels, Terri Apter shows, are attempts to negotiate changes in a relationship that is valued by both mothers and daughters. A daughter often feels her mother doesn't know or understand her, and by fighting hopes to force her mother into a new awareness of who she really is, how she has changed, and what she is now capable of doing and understanding. But mothers often misinterpret their daughter's outbursts as signs of rejection, and they may pull back feeling hurt and confused. Through case studies and conversations between mothers and daughters, Apter shows mothers how to interpret the meanings behind a daughter's angry words and how to emerge from arguments with a new closeness.
The Teen Interpreter: A Guide to the Challenges and Joys of Raising Adolescents
The Teen Interpreter is a generous roadmap for enjoying the most challenging, and rewarding, parenting years. Once children hit adolescence, it seems as if overnight “I love you” becomes “leave me alone,” and any question from a parent can be dismissed with one word: “fine.” But while they may not show it, teenagers rely on their parents’ curiosity, delight, and connection to guide them through this period of exuberant growth as they navigate complex changes to their bodies, their thought processes, their social world, and their self-image. In The Teen Interpreter, psychologist Terri Apter looks into teens’ minds—minds that are experiencing powerful new emotions and awarene...
The Sister Knot
Women's relationships with each other are often defined by a rocky mix of emotions, leading to anguish and confusion. Profoundly insightful, The Sister Knot clarifies the complexities, tensions, and intimacy that form the bonds between sisters and the women who come to represent sisters, and it demonstrates to any reader the fundamental strength to be found through understanding sisterhood.
Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
"The author of Altered Loves . . . now turns her analytical eye toward middle-aged women. The result is both lively and revealing." --New York Times Book Review In this groundbreaking and insightful study Terri Apter traces womens midlife course, drawing on detailed interviews with women in their forties and fifties. Apter finds that women experience a renewed sense of themselves and see the second half of life as an opportunity for psychological growth and fulfillment instead of a time of despair over lost youth and beauty. She divides midlife women into four categories--traditional, innovative, expansive, protesting--and shows the cause for the midlife crisis and the path toward resolution for each type.
Best Friends
For the millions who made bestsellers of "Reviving Ophelia" and "Girlfriends", two psychologists offer an in-depth look at the missing link in female development--the girlhood friendships that are catalysts of women's growth.
Best Friends
Best Friends provides the missing link to understanding and recognizing the impact of some of the most important relationships in girls' and women's lives. Every woman remembers the sting of betrayal of a girlfriend, and every parent of a daughter has seen her come home from school in tears because a girl she thought was her best friend suddenly and inexplicably became her enemy. While boys hash out differences with fists and kicks, girls' societies are marked by secrets and whispers and shifting affection. The lessons learned as an adolescent girl are often carried into adulthood, making women fear confrontation--especially with other women. But the intensity of the struggles reflects the s...
Altered Loves
Why is adolescence a time of conflict between teenage girls and their mothers? Is mother/daughter strife a way of redefining a critical relationship? Terri Apter answers these and other important questions in this book which addresses the female experience in the insightful tradition of Carol Gilligan's In a Different Voice. A New York Times Notable Book of the Year.
An Extra Pair of Hands
'Inspiring' GUARDIAN 'Heartbreaking' INDEPENDENT 'I loved it' ADAM KAY 'Beautiful' MATT HAIG 'Luminous' NICCI GERRARD 'Essential reading' MADELEINE BUNTING 'A celebration' CHRISTIE WATSON ----- A Best Book for Summer in The Times, Guardian and The i Independent Book of the Month ----- Caring is an issue that affects us all - as bestselling novelist Kate Mosse knows all too well. Kate has cared in turn for her father and mother, and for Granny Rosie, her 90-year-old mother-in-law. Along the way she has experienced the joys, challenges and frustrations shared by an invisible army of carers. At the heart of this care lie everyday acts of love, and the realisation that, sooner or later, most of us will come to rely on an extra pair of hands. ----- 'Lifts the spirits without pulling punches' IAN RANKIN 'Irresistible' RACHEL JOYCE 'Questions how and why we fetishise independence when the reality of human experience is always interdependence' GUARDIAN, BOOK OF THE DAY 'Heartfelt, funny and at times heartbreaking. 10/10' INDEPENDENT 'Utterly beautiful' FRANCESCA SEGAL
On Balance
In this absorbing and provocative new book from one of Britain's most elegant and original prose stylists, psychoanalyst Adam Phillips addresses a variety of urgent concerns - many centred around the idea of balance. When might we know that enough is enough? Does the road of excess ever lead to the palace of wisdom? What is the role of the parent, the teacher and of psychoanalysis itself in the development of children's minds? Should we be happy, or is there something better we can be? And what can we learn from the tales of Jack and the Beanstalk or Cinderella? With his trademark combination of open-minded enquiry and exhilarating argument, drawing primarily on the twin worlds of literature and psychoanalysis, Adam Phillips will delight readers old and new in this much anticipated new book.
The Myth of Maturity: What Teenagers Need from Parents to Become Adults
"Parents and young adults alike should benefit from the advice in Apter's insightful book."—Washington Post What do young people at the threshold of adulthood really need and want? Why do so many responsible and motivated teenagers become young adults who are still dependent, financially and emotionally, on their parents? Why are many young people today so quick to leave childhood behind, but so slow to become adults? In this wise and compassionate book, Terri Apter debunks outdated and misguided ideas about maturity: Acting in the name of love, many parents withdraw emotional or practical support, thinking it best for a son or daughter to solve his or her own problems—even to suffer alone the consequences of mistakes. Apter shows us that young adults actually need a parent's guidance and support, while also requiring respect and independence. Based on carefully observed case studies and current research, this book describes how we can support young people through a crucial stage in their development.
